Sometimes, life takes a crappy turn and the partner you have trusted and spent many years with decides that they no longer want to be with you. Not only does that it hurt but it adds insult to injury when your partner chooses someone younger than you. It’s tough getting older and adjusting to losing our youthful looks and being traded in for a younger model can trigger all of our insecurities. It can affect our confidence dramatically. So what can you do to minimise the impact?
Refrain from comparing
The worst thing you can do is compare yourself unfavourably to your ex-partner’s new partner. Youth isn’t everything and that person will never be you. Focus on yourself and your own progress and self care – this is a better way to feel empowered. Focusing on the new woman will leave you feeling mierable and defeated.
Try not to stalk them on social media
Block your ex on social media and don’t give in to seeking out info on what they are doing. Focus on getting yourself strong again and don’t spend any mental enegry on them. Out of sight, out of mind.
Self care
Focus on self improvement – get your hair done, update your wardrobe and do things to improve your self esteem and confidence.
Socialise
It’s very common to want to withdraw and not connect with others but it’s important to keep in touch with friends and family for emotional support.
Focus on your strengths
Focus on all your good qualities – what it is that makes you uniqur and special. Adopt that attitude that it is their loss. Use this opportunity to think about all the things you wanted to do that your partner vetoed – did you want to travel, get a pet? You now have the freedom to design the life you want without limits from your ex -woohoooo!
You can’t control the situation but you cn decide how you wish to react and what you want tot hink about what has happened. Keep your focus on what you can control and keep looking forward.
Mandy X
Photo by Emma Simpson on Unsplash
Author: Mandy Kloppers
Mandy is a qualified therapist who treats depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, trauma, and many other types of mental health issues. She provides online therapy around the world for those needing support and also provides relationship counselling.
