What’s your love language?
We all have different ways of feeling loved. Some of feel loved when our partners spend quality time with us, some of us prefer it when our partners do things for us – like cook us dinner or take us somewhere nice…. our preferred love language can cause problems when we automatically assume that our partners feel loved in the same way we do.
Just because you like gifts to feel loved and special might not mean that your partner feels as loved when you buy them a present. So, expressing your own love language to your partner and finding out what their preferred love language is can go a long way to improving the longevity of your relationship.
How to spot your partner’s love language
Observe their behaviour – how do they express love and appreciation to others?
What do they request most – this will show you what they prefer. Do they ask for help with activities, chores around the house or do they harp on about going on a holiday with you?
The love languages
1) Acts of service
Getting breakfast in bed, mowing the lawn, fetching the dry cleaning…these are all examples of acts of service.
2) Quality time
This involves spending time together where you are focused on each other. It doesn’t count if you are in the same room but ignoring each other.
3) Gift giving
Gift giving and receiving is extremely symbolic.All gifts have an emotional value.
4) Physical touch
Affection, sex and touching can all help bond a couple together.
5) Words of affirmation
Some of us need to hear the words “I love you” as well as positive verbal affirmations about how much we mean to them, how important we are.
Relationships take work and the above five love languages can all be used to help a relationship along. Keep in mind all five and make an effort to use them all, especially the main one that you know your partner appreciates. The more loved your partner feels the more you will receive back too.
Mandy X
More info: Gary Chapman – The Five Languages of Love (Book)
Photo by Glenn Loos-Austin 
Author: Mandy Kloppers
Mandy is a qualified therapist who treats depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, trauma, and many other types of mental health issues. She provides online therapy around the world for those needing support and also provides relationship counselling.
