What’s your pre-existing story?
We all carry around pre-existing ideas or stories about ourselves and the world. We start life as a blank state, pretty much, apart from innate instinct and reflexes, and experiences imprint upon this blank slate. We learn whether the world is safe or dangerous. Whether people are good to us or not, or varying degrees inbetween as very few things in life and completely black and white.
An interesting way to discover what your pre existing story is, is by completing these three statements:
1) I am …
2) Other people are…
3) The world is…
How did you complete these statements? The tone of your statements will say a lot about how you view the world. How you view the world will affect how the world views and reacts to you too. Sometimes, when we believe certain things about ourselves and the world, we end up creating that very scenario for ourselves -something called a “self fulfilling prophecy”. If we believe we are inadequate, we will most likely behave in a way that supports these thoughts and our non verbal language may be negative and unfriendly (we may not be doing it consciously) and others will then read our ‘vibes’ and react accordingly.
So, the point I am making is that it is a very good idea to anayles your pre-existing story about yourself and the world. Are you creating self fulfilling prophecies? Create stories that are objective as possible, be open minded in life as you encounter new people and experiences and never believe that the past will always repeat in the future. If you have been through many bad relationships, do not allow these negative experiences to change your story about the world. Acknowledge the past but try to be open and neutral to new things.
When we are open and objective, we use something called “confirmation bias” less. Confirmation bias is a human tendency to look for examples in the world around us and in the behaviour of others that confirms our beliefs about the world. We can end up being so focused on negatives that we miss the neutral and more positive instances that could challenge our pre-existing story.
Challenge your pre-existing story, choose thoughts that work for you and help you to find the things you want in life.