Why Dating Is Harder As You Get Older?
5 Reasons Why Dating is Harder with Age
Dating can be an exhilarating experience. You meet new people on the best hookup sites 2020, exposing you to new experiences, ideas, and perspectives. But as you get older, dating becomes harder. You may find that the dating scene is different from when you were younger; meeting new and interesting people is more challenging, or find that sex and dating after a divorce or widowhood isn’t appealing. Let’s explore these reasons and more.
You Look for More Meaningful Relationships
With age comes wisdom and happiness, or so the saying goes. This also applies to dating and your love life. As you get older, you realize the importance of working on yourself and learn to accept yourself, flaws and all. You come to know yourself better, become more self-reliant, self-assured, and self-loving. With this clarity, you realize that you don’t need a relationship to feel stable or validated. Your tolerance for games decreases and your need for a meaningful and rewarding relationship becomes stronger.
You understand the importance of dating someone who has done their share of self-reflection and has worked on themselves. You realize that a significant other is someone who fits into your life and enhances it, someone who’s an equal and a teammate, not a project.
You want more than just companionship in your relationship and want a partner who values and loves you just as much. Perhaps the most important lesson you learn as you get older is that it’s always better to remain single than to settle for mediocre relationships. But while high dating standards are important, the best dating advice you should follow is to be willing to try new relationships.
Online Dating is Challenging to Navigate
Dating in the modern world often involves technology, from swiping through potential matches on dating apps to communicating with potential partners via DM or text. Most middle-aged people aren’t comfortable with online dating, while others are scared of trying it. Plus, dating online can be overwhelming for some people. You put yourself out there repeatedly, spend time talking and going on dates only to find that most of the matches aren’t compatible with you.
Most people are also cautious of online dating since it makes it easy for someone to misrepresent themselves. And since you long for someone for intimacy and companionship, you become an easy target for scammers. But despite this, people have had successful online dating experiences. You have to sift through the bad ones to find genuine people looking for the same thing you are.
Smaller Dating Pool
When you’re younger, you have more single friends who could expose you to other singles, making dating way easier. But as you get older, the vast majority of your friends are likely married or in serious relationships, and your friendships become more about quality than quantity.
This significantly reduces your exposure to the dating pool, making it harder to meet your potential partner. What makes it more challenging is that most people aren’t all that comfortable going out alone, but relying on your friends’ availability limits your chances of meeting new people.
You’re Set in Your Ways
When you’re younger, you’re more accommodating and willing to compromise. But as you get older, you know what you like and what you don’t like. You have set patterns of behavior, set values, goals, habits, likes, and dislikes. Your life is more settled, and doing new things doesn’t come as easily as it did in your earlier years.
Unlike dating in your 20s, where you grow up together and mold your lives together, you don’t have the same advantage when dating when you’re older. You’re both set in your ways and less flexible and less willing to bend yourself to fit with someone else. Trying to find someone who fits into your life will be challenging and harder to adapt and welcome a new relationship into your life with all the inherent compromise that comes with it.
A few dating tips to bear in mind is that no matter what age you are, every person you meet can teach you something new about yourself, and finding someone who perfectly fits into your preconceived notion of what your life needs is a mirage.
You’re Emotionally Drained
As a middle-aged or older adult, you’re likely to have experienced long-term, intimate relationships that affect your re-entry into the dating world. Becoming single through widowhood, separation, or divorce is an emotionally challenging experience, and the experience can leave you jaded. This makes dating after a divorce or widowhood more challenging.
If you haven’t gotten over the sting of your past, it will be difficult for you to find someone. The challenge is not to get weighed down by your past but to learn from it. Being jaded about love and searching for it at the same time is counterintuitive. Allow yourself to be positive and to hope as this will make dating much easier.
While it’s undeniable that dating gets more challenging as you get older, it doesn’t mean that you won’t find love. You need to adjust your attitude and be more open to new experiences. Do you have other dating tips for middle age? Let us know in the comments.
Trish Jackson is a psychologist and relationship expert. She loves to share with people her experience and thoughts about love, relationships, and family. The free time she spends with her family, travel together, and develop her creative talents.