Why self love is vital

I know the ‘self love bandwagon’ has been through here many times before but it is such an important concept that I feel I need to keep banging on about it. I know why self love is vital and this is because I never used to like myself very much.

I grew up with parents who didn’t really see the merits in having children. I was a nuisance and a liability and I received many negative messages during my upbringing. Undoing messages from parents takes some time and I have spent hours in therapy re-programming my ‘unhealthy wiring’. I can honestly say that the more I have liked myself and acted in accordance with this newfound self respect, the more things have changed for the better in my life.

Self-compassion

When you reduce the negative self talk and stop criticising yourself, amazing things start happening. It’s difficult to explain but I can assure you that when you treat yourself  in a kinder fashion, others do too.

I stopped the negative self talk and decided to try looking for things that I did like about myself. At first, it seemed odd and fake but I persisted with it. Self love is vital if you want to get the best out of yourself. When you think you are worthy, others tend to agree. No one is there asking to see your certificate of worthiness, they just accept you as you are.

Body language

We give off many signals through our body language and if our thinking is negative, our body language tends to match this. When you open up your body language, talk to yourself as you would to a best friend, your energy changes. This may sound like psycho-babble but if you try it you will see an immediate difference. When you act as if you are confident, you see an immediate difference. It may take a while for the brain to accept your new thinking but in the mean time act as if you are supremely confident and as if you really feel happy in your own skin.

Regularly remind yourself of all the good things about you – do you have a good sense of humour? Are you a good friend, parent, partner? Are you kind, tolerant? Build up that list of all that you like about you and be able to recite it easily and at will. I am always amazed at how so few of my clients can tell me what they like about themselves.

Positive self-talk

I ask them to give me 5 things they like about themselves. This is usually followed by an uncomfortable silence, some squirming and then perhaps one thing that they can think. Not good enough. Get into the habit of being able to say 5 things in quick succession. This shows a person who thinks of themselves in positive terms. Get into this habit!

I am always looking for ways to improve my positive regard towards myself and recently read a brilliant book that I highly recommend: Please see below

Mandy X

https://www.heartsintrueharmony.com/catalog/learningtoloveyourself.html

Photo by h.koppdelaney

Author: Mandy Kloppers

Mandy is a qualified therapist who treats depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, trauma, and many other types of mental health issues. She provides online therapy around the world for those needing support and also provides relationship counselling.