You can’t run away from yourself

Our thinking styles follow us wherever we go. Many people lack self awareness of this and do not realise that they live their lives according to pre-existing beliefs. These beliefs have come from their parents, authority figures in their past as well as past experiences.

When we lack awareness of our inner ‘programming’, we lack the insight to challenge the outdated beliefs that we accept as valid. As a counsellor, part of my work involves identifying faulty assumptions that my clients make about themselves and the world. When we can idenitfy the thoughts and beliefs that hold us back, we can begin to challenge and replace them with thoughts and beliefs that serve us more effectively. Adhering to outdated and faulty thoughts leads to missed opportunities, to self limiting beliefs about our capabilities and can increase stress levels to umanageable levels.

On top of that, incorrect perceptions leads to a tendency to look for confirmation in the outside world of these faulty assumptions which often then encourages self fulfilling prophecies. For example, if someone believes that they are no good with the opposite sex, they will look for examples of when they have been rejected or when they were unsuccessful with the opposite sex. These reinforcers add to the likelihood of unhelpful behaviour, such as withdrawal and isolation. The cycle then continues. Tackling the inner programming is the start of looking at the world differently, changing the whole dynamic of the interaction.

Trying to relocate or starting a new relationship because the last three were a disaster is unlikely to solve the problem if these issues were caused by rigid and outdated thinking. As the title suggests – you can’t run away from yourself -and you can’t run away from your thinking.

When you address your thinking and your core beliefs, the ability to manage any situation becomes possible. It’s often not about fixing things on the outside, but rather a matter of adjusting your inner perceptions of the world around you that will lead you to a more contented, less stressed existence.

Mandy X

Author: Mandy Kloppers

Mandy is a qualified therapist who treats depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, trauma, and many other types of mental health issues. She provides online therapy around the world for those needing support and also provides relationship counselling.