This isn’t an anti-male post at all, it’s just about reinforcing the fact that women don’t need a man to get by in the world or to feel safe. I always used to feel I couldn’t make it on my own and felt I needed a man to feel safe in the world. I was waiting for my knight in shining armour to come along. He never came and slowly but surely, over time, I learned to rely on myself.
It’s great to have a loving, generous man in your life but always see it as a bonus, not a necessity! Never rely on someone else for your happiness or your financial stability. My mother always used to encourage me to save money and make sure I had a ‘F*$K OFF’ bank account, and I agree.
I dated a wealthy man many years back and thought it would solve all my problems. How naive I was! He got to make all the decisions and I felt that I had very little control over my life. Yep, for the wealthy mean at your side, there is a disadvantage. Often, you just become another possession of his.
The happiest I have been is when I have felt equal in a relationship, financially, emotionally and intellectually. There are many wonderful, kind men out there but the point of this blog post is that many women pin their hopes on a man to improve their lives. Learn to rely on yourself, show yourself what you’re made of. Get an education, save money and live life on your terms.
It’s still a lopsided world in that most men make more money than most women, even for the exact same roles. This puts women at a disadvantage plus women often have to take most of the responsibility for child rearing. We are the underdogs in many ways but slowly things are changing.
Do what you can, empower yourself. Never settle for second best just because it is safe. If I had a Pound/Dollar for every woman who has said to me, “Do I go for the boring, steady safe guy or the more exciting guy who really excites me?”, I would be a millionaire. Okay, slight exaggeration but I have found that many women feel they have to choose. The steady guy is dependable and would make a great family man but is boring whereas the wilder man is exciting but less reliable…hmmmmn….decisions decisions. The more self reliant you are, the easier these decisions become.
You become the core foundation of your life, not the man in your life. Women are amazing, we can multi-task, we’re generally emotionally intelligent and are adept at forming social connections. We have a lot going for us. Think independently, act independently. You’ll be happier for it. You are stronger than you know and you don’t need a man! You can want a man in your life, fair enough, but you don’t need one.
Mandy X
Author: Mandy Kloppers
Mandy is a qualified therapist who treats depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, trauma, and many other types of mental health issues. She provides online therapy around the world for those needing support and also provides relationship counselling.
